Family is an important topic in Proverbs.  Indeed, the explicit dynamic of the teaching provided in the book is that of a father, speaking on behalf of himself and his wife, instructing his son.  In one sense, then the whole book is relevant to family, but here we simply outline the major and explicit issues relating to family in the book.  [Here], we focus on the family overall and the parent-child relationship…we are here giving a sense of the major teaching points, [listing] each, along with a single illustrative verse.

1. The sages insist on the importance of a strong cohesive family and denigrate anyone and anything that erodes the family bond.

Yesterday, as I was working through the Good Book Guide “Biblical Manhood” with a friend, we discussed what happened in Genesis 3 in the Fall.  In particular, we began to think about how the serpent (Satan) deceived Eve.  The guide led us to consider how Eve was tempted to think about God’s Word and how we are tempted to heed the same tempting words of the serpent.  After some discussion on our part, we turned to the guide, which summed up Satan’s temptations toward Eve as portraying God’s Word as unclear, untrue, and unfair.

First, the crafty serpent comes to Eve and tempts her to believe that God’s Word is unclear.  He asks “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”  If you have read chapter 2, you know that God did not actually say that, but “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”  Yet, Eve responds not with the clear word of God but with “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.”  Whoa! Hang on a minute Eve, God didn’t say anything about touching it!  Sure it would be wise not to touch it or even go near it but that’s not what God said.  The serpent’s questioning of the clarity of God’s Word brought doubt to the mind of Eve, leading her to add to it and question her own understanding of it.

Next, we see Satan questioning the truthfulness of God’s Word.  After Eve’s first response, the serpent rebuts, “You will not surely die.”  Now we know we are in dangerous waters.  This is clearly not what God has said but Satan has already brought doubt concerning the clarity of God’s Word, so he has an open door to twist it to his own conclusions.  If it appears unclear to her what God has said, why couldn’t the serpent’s interpretation be valid or at least plausible?  But this is not what God has said.  He said if they eat of that one tree they WILL die.  No question. No ambiguous language.  Completely clear and, as they and all of mankind know, completely true, for death is the great leveler of all mankind.

In Matthew 19:13-15, children were brought to Jesus, likely by their parents seeking a blessing.  Here we gain a tender understanding of the character of Christ, for He did not turn these children away as if they were unimportant.  On the contrary, He rebuked the disciples who wanted to prevent the children from coming, saying, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”   Here Jesus set the precedent of accepting even the young as being significant.  Obviously, there was some benefit to the interaction of these children with Jesus.  We do not learn that the children were then considered disciples, believers, or saved; but, Jesus cared for these children, even equating their demeanor to those for whom the kingdom was reserved.

Following this example, it is appropriate to “bring children to Jesus.”  We take part in dedicating children to the Lord as a sign of His importance for their lives.  We want to encourage every spiritual benefit possible to prepare children for a life of faithfulness, and dedication is just the first step.  The Bible gives no indication that such an act contains any spiritual merit, however, children benefit when their parents acknowledge their need for Christ.

In today’s church, there are hurts, there are conflicts, there are fears, there are marriages, there are those wanting to be married, there are adult children with ailing parents, there are high school students debating their future, there are children learning to obey their parents and live in a society with rules and responsibilities, there are baby Christians, there are mature Christians, there are unbelievers who think they are saved, there are unbelievers who know they don’t believe, there are senior saints with wisdom to impart, there are “Pauls” and “Timothys” and pastors and shepherds, brothers and sisters, believers struggling with unbelief, struggling with fear, needing joy, needing hope, needing help,...

If you look, before long you will see all these and more within the fabric of the church. We are all in different stages, places, and levels of help to give and levels of needs to be met. One thing is true we all need help, counsel. Every man, woman, boy and girl, every senior saint and every new-born Christian, those with obvious struggles and those who think they are doing pretty good...we all need help; we all need counsel. This is true today and it was true before the fall. Adam and Eve in the garden needed counsel, as we will see further down. We were created to need help even when God said we were made perfect before the fall, we needed counsel. Part of being made perfect was that we were made to be dependent. Not only do we need counsel, we need a specific counsel; God's counsel. God's counsel from the Word of God. We were dependent, created dependent, upon God. And finally, we will see from some various passages, that all believers are called to counsel; all believers are called to give help from the Word of God and if you are in Christ, you are qualified.

Baptism is an important step of obedience in the life of faith for every believer.  This act of obedience for a young person is no less significant.  Additionally, scripture points us to the reality that guidance in the spiritual matters of a child is entrusted first to his/her parents with the church supporting that work.  In matters of baptism, the church is to remain faithful to the teaching of Scripture ensuring that the ordinance is held in high regard and performed with joy.  We want to prepare young people for baptism, in order that it will be a special time for them as they pursue obedience to the Lord in a genuine way.  This is why we have developed a preparation process for all young people to take part in as they prepare for identifying with the Lord through believer’s baptism.

GOALS OF THE PREPARATION PROCESS

As we think about preparing a young person for baptism, we have in mind several goals which are similar for every believer:

1. To glorify Christ and His work on the cross
2. To discern a candidate’s readiness for baptism
3. To equip a candidate to spiritually examine himself
4. To equip a candidate to share a testimony of his/her faith
5. To prepare a candidate for membership in the local church
6. To include the spiritual leader of the home in the preparation process
7. To provide an opportunity for the family and the church to publicly affirm, support, encourage, and pray for the candidate.

Giving up to gain may sound like an odd principle to live by but we naturally follow this in all aspects of life.  The key to understanding this is why we give up to gain.  The reason we give up something, whatever it may be, is because we value, or better yet, we treasure that which we are seeking to gain by giving something up.  Let me give you a few examples: you may give up eating deserts because you treasure the prize of good or better health.  You may give up time and energy to workout because you treasure the prize of good health, physical attractiveness, or a potentially longer life.  You may give up money because you treasure the prize of possessions or whatever you might obtain in the purchase.  You may give up the desire to purchase something now because you treasure the prize of obtaining something of more value in the future.  You may give up overtime at work because you treasure the prize of time with family, or, just the opposite, you may give up time with family because you treasure the prize of more money, climbing the corporate ladder, or in an attempt to keep up with the proverbial “Jones”.

This is even an underlying principle to understanding why we sin.  We will give up something to gain what we desire.  You might give up integrity by lying because you treasure the prize of a good reputation.  You might give up marital fidelity and purity because you treasure the prize of the forbidden pleasure of a relationship with another physical or digital person, at least in the moment.  You might give up love and honor in being harsh with your children because you treasure the prize of parental respect and obedience.  And the list goes on and on, but the principle remains: you will give up whatever is necessary to gain that which you treasure.

Many times the problem is not what we need to give up but what we treasure, or even how much we treasure it.  Anything we treasure more than we ought, more than God intended in providing it for us either by creation or providence, whether a material thing or a person, has become and is to us an idol.  In treasuring something too much, in inordinately loving something that is unable to bear such love and desire, we have made idols or God-replacements in our lives.  We will give up all our time, money, energy, affection, and more to obtain or keep that which we treasure or idolize in this way.  This is blasphemy, cosmic treason, and worthy of the eternal wrath of God.

Along with this being divinely punishable, it is ruinous to individuals and the Church.  If we love, treasure,  or desire anything above or even equally with God we are depriving ourselves of the only person that is able and worthy to bear being treasure, being praised, and being worshipped. Everything and everyone else will leave us empty, exhausted, and enraged.

A popular television commercial running nowadays includes a man asking several preschool-aged children, “What’s better…faster or slower?”  Though the product advertised may make little difference to viewers, it is humorous to watch. Especially if you have children, you can relate to that kind of conversation.

We might address a biblical topic in similar vein, “what’s better…sacrifice or obedience?”  When we think of it in these terms, the answer may come much more quickly.  However, we humans quickly confuse our priorities in this arena when compared with God’s.

Take for example the act of making an offering at church.  Ever evaluated why you give?  Is it simply to check the to-do list of the ten percent?  Or does your giving involve a cheerful spirit (2 Corinthians 9:7), returning to the Lord what he has given you stewardship over (1 Corinthians 4:7)?

How about service in ministry?  When you serve, do you do so in response to the gifts and opportunities God has given you (1 Peter 4:10-11) with the desire to build up the church (Ephesians 4:12)?  Or, do you simply feel compelled, thinking you can please God this way or that he needs your service?

Or, consider family life.  It is easy for parents, especially working moms and dads, to shoot for “quality” time with the family, simply sacrificing an afternoon, weekend, or family vacation for family interaction.  Yet, Deuteronomy 6:7 uses the word “diligently” in reference to teaching our children, with the significance of repetition.  Rather than simply “quality” instruction, diligence points to “quantity,” like sharpening a knife requires repeated strokes against the whet stone.

As I write this... I am struggling.  I have been convicted for over a week to write this post, but just haven't done it.  I reflect on these verses in my struggle:

Psalm 78:4 "We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done."

1 Chronicles 16:24 "Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples!"

Psalm 96:3 "Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples!"

We are commanded to tell of God's wonderful deeds!  We are to give Him glory for all His works!  My fear in these situations is that someone will misinterpret my writings, my story and somehow think that I am bragging or giving honor to myself... I recognize now, this is a lie from Satan.  He doesn't want me to tell our story- because he doesn't want me give God the glory he deserves.  He wants me to hide the wondrous deeds of the Lord... based on my pride- based on the idea that I don't want people to judge me or think that I am bragging.  So, in order to flee my sin of pride... in order to flee the sin of disobedience... in order to give the Lord credit for all that he has done... I will tell our adoption story (the financial side of it).... It is a GREAT story of our God!

You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, ² and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. ³ Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. ⁴ No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him. ⁵ An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. ⁶ It is the hard-working farmer who ought to have the first share of the crops. ⁷ Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.

As I read through 2 Timothy in my quiet time I have been very encouraged by chapter 2.  Two commands come right out of the gate in this chapter.  Paul reminds Timothy to…

As we labor to teach our children how to glorify God, we focus on essentially one point—the gospel.  We use every means to the end of helping our kids see their need for a Savior who is Christ the Lord.  Even discipline is not to end merely in punishment, but is a means to gospel declaration.  Parents must strive for diligence to keep discipline in its proper place to direct the hearts of children to the Lord who demands holiness and gives all of us reason to be obedient.

The preeminence of the gospel is that it is the Great Reconciler.  Not only has the cross made believers at peace with God, but it has also made us at peace with men (Ephesians 2:14-16).  All those in Christ are presently one with God and one with each other.  What a magnificent work!  Believers are now able to love God and other Christians freely, no longer having any actual division between us.  In addition, we should direct this unhindered ability to love toward nonbelievers (our neighbors), too.  Hence, we have the two greatest commandments to love God and love our neighbors.

In this injunction to love we see a prime arena of instruction and discipline for children.  What better explanation of the Christian life than loving God and loving people?  This love is precisely what children need to learn and live.  Many passages of Scripture can and should be used to instruct children in loving God; however, in relation to loving people, one passage stands head and shoulders above the rest.  In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 the apostle Paul explains the conduct of love in what A.T. Robertson calls a "marvelous rhapsody," fifteen varying notes describing true love in perfect harmony. In fact, to imitate these is to love like Christ Himself, who exemplified each quality as He perfected the gospel.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Give ear, O my people, to my teaching;

incline your ears to the words of my mouth!

I will open my mouth in a parable;

I will utter dark sayings from of old,

things that we have heard and known,

that our fathers have told us.

We will not hide them from their children,

but tell to the coming generation

the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might,

and the wonders that he has done.

- Psalm 78:1-4

You always hear, this time of year, of people making resolutions for the coming year.  People make resolutions to be healthy: to remain that way or to get that way.  People resolve to make financially wise choices: get out of debt, start to save money, give more money away, etc.  People resolve to get material things.  They have saved up and now they want to finally get that new car, new house, new iPad mini, new smart phone, etc.  I want to encourage you to make a New Year resolution to be blessed in the New Year.  However, this blessing is greater than any of the above.  This blessing is one only God can grant.  Psalm 1 speaks about the man who is blessed and contrasts him with the man who is not blessed.

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;” Psalm 1:1

Sin’s Progression

Charles Haddon Spurgeon writes, “When people live in sin they go from bad to worse.  At first they merely walk in the counsel of the ungodly.  Their evil is practical rather than habitual, but they become accustomed to evil.  They stand in the way of open sinners who willfully violate God’s commandments.  If left alone, they become malignant teachers and evil enticers.  They sit in the seat of the scornful. They have taken their degree in vice (which is an immoral or evil habit or practice) and, as true Doctors of Damnation, are Masters in Belial.”  Belial is a Hebrew word translated in the Old Testament as corrupt, perverted, worthless and in the New Testament, in 2 Corinthians 6:15, it is used as a name for Satan.

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.  For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness?  Or what fellowship has light with darkness?  What accord has Christ with Belial?  Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?  What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, ‘I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.  Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me says the Lord Almighty.’” 2 Corinthians 6:14-18

If you could sum up the Christmas story in just one word, what would it be?  Or, what one word describes the birth of the God-man, Jesus Christ?

I have two.  I understand that two words do not answer the question...  However, thinking about God becoming human flesh displays one of Scripture’s great tensions.

We know the tension between God’s sovereignty and man’s responsibility.  And we sometimes quiver trying to understand or explain it.  We ask, “Does God have complete control, or can I make my own choices?”  And to that, we answer, “Yes…”  Likewise, when asked “Did God breathe out the Bible or did men write it?” we respond, “Yes…”  And, again, "Who is responsible for your growth as a Christian: you, or the Holy Spirit?"  The answer, yet once more, we would say is, "Yes..."  Some things are too difficult to answer simply.  And yet, we try.

Therefore, when I think of the birth of Christ, I have two words because one simply will not do.  Two words which are two sides of the same coin.  To miss one side of the coin is to depreciate the whole event.  But clinging to the tension of these two seemingly opposite words is to behold the grandeur of the incarnation.

What better word to describe the birth of Christ than Humility?  The whole situation is one of humble stature.  Think of:

Mary

As the mother of our Lord contemplated her own condition, she was overwhelmed.

And Mary said, "My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of His servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name." (Luke 1:46-49)

How could we look upon Mary any differently than to agree with her own statement of humility?  She in no way deserved the privilege of being the earthly mother of our Lord.  In fact, like the rest of us sinners, she deserved the opposite, a place of disgrace.  Both spiritually and culturally, she was no one special—just a young girl about to be married who held no status, no position, no fame.  The world, expecting the birth of a king, would look to royalty and people of great esteem, yet God chose to use a modest young girl who would give Him the glory.

This morning several homes are emptier than they were just a day before.  There are less than two weeks left before Christmas and presents sit under trees that will never be opened by the little hands they were intended for.  A great tragedy has come among us.  Yesterday, our nation watched as the horror unfolded.  In Newtown, Connecticut at Sandy Hook Elementary School, a lone gunman opened fire on faculty and students, killing 26 people, with 20 of those being children ranging from five to ten years of age.  Prior to going to the school, gunman, Adam Lanza, murdered his own mother.  Following the rampage, Lanza turned the gun on himself, committing suicide and raising the death toll to 28, making this the second deadliest school shooting in our country’s history, exceeded by the massacre at Virginia Tech in 2007, which took 33 lives.

A brief scan of news reports and social media portray a cacophony of emotions, questions, accusations, and frustrations.  We ask, “who could do such a thing?”, “why would someone do such a thing?”, and “how could this happen?”, seeking clarity in a time of great confusion.  Many answers have been given to these questions.  Some have been helpful, others polarizing, but each lacks the comfort we seek - a comfort outside of ourselves and mankind.  Don’t get me wrong, those answers are needed and can be helpful to a degree but they will not ultimately comfort us or those directly involved.  So, how are we to respond biblically, as God’s people, to such a heinously inconceivable event such as this?

Let me suggest a few, though not exhaustive, responses that will bring comfort to us and others as well as honor God.

1. Mourn

One way we are to biblically respond to the lives stolen away in this murderous attack is for us to mourn.  Break down and cry, empathize with the broken families, hug your own children or spouses, and feel the burden of pain and loss.  When we mourn we acknowledge that this is not how it is supposed to be.  The pain, the sorrow, and the loss are all aspects of a sin cursed world that do not please us nor do they please God.  We are right to weep and we are right to mourn.  Also, when we mourn, we imitate Jesus Christ.  Though clearly different circumstances, Jesus wept with others at the loss of Lazarus.  John 11:32-35 says, “Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept.”  Christ did not weep because their was no hope or comfort for them but he sought to show compassion, as a sympathetic high priest, that we would follow in his footsteps.  Colossians 3:12 declares, “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts.”  When death, suffering, or a tragedy occurs we are to mourn with those who are mourning, for in doing so we acknowledge that this is not how it is supposed to be, we imitate our Lord, and we, as those who have been shown compassion and by God's grace, show compassion to the hurting.